25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen. -Romans 1:25
I've just returned from the Mars Hill Women's Training Day held at the Bellevue campus. Similar to the training day that I attended two years ago, I have a lot to process and chip away at.
Both training day experiences have left me with the exact same question: do I want to be known?
Do I want to attempt to allow other women to speak into my life, witness my ugly moments, walk with me through the muddy waters of living this side of Heaven? Because, honestly, Americans all seem a bit phony. The facade of the Pinterest Mom and her household, the Sunday Christians (more of us than we want to admit), the humble brags on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, all make me cringe a little bit inside, or roll my eyes, or worse, inspire comparison then competition.
We have exchanged the truth for a lie. We have believed things that are purely from Satan, or if we can be really honest, from our own wicked and deceitful heart. When the Bible talks about how rotten our hearts are, it isn't describing just those unsaved. The seasoned Christian isn't exempt here. Our hearts are sinful, completely filled with unrighteousness and manipulative motivation. An easy example that I can think of is when I have casually posted a "Takethemameal" photo and hashtag on Instagram to show the beautiful spread that I created to "serve" others. But, who gets the proverbial pat on the back with 15 'likes'? Who gets the glory via kind comments? Me. I do. I get the glory and rob Jesus of the credit he so rightly deserves. I have done this. It was coy. It wasn't showy. That's an example of how manipulative and wicked the heart can be.
At the Training Day we talked about beauty. That was the only topic dissected and disassembled into many different takeaways. At the very end of the 9am-4pm day we wrote down some lies on a piece of paper; probably like 500 of us, and dropped them into a basket at the foot of the cross, then we walked past another basket full of pieces of paper with scripture on it. A truth. We gave up some of our lies and took up God's word. Here is what my piece of paper read:
John 1:12-13 But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.
If I chose to believe that I have become a child of God, I would submit to you that accepting truth over lies is going to heavily rely on grace and the conviction of the Holy Spirit daily. Hourly. Because, the lies pop up, the judgment pops up, the cutting down and tearing apart of my fellow sisters pops up, and it's ugly. And, I want to apologize. Apologize to all of my sisters whom I have offered a false encouragement to regarding their selfies, and kid brags, and every other way that we sin online specifically. I have done a disservice by perpetuating what has just become the norm for society.
I have done a disservice by saying things like this:
"She lost the baby weight so fast, and only eats organic, and her kids love kale. She is so exceptional. Ugh, I have a lot to fix. Man, tomorrow I am going to start doing..."
"She knows SO much of the Bible. I bet her kids are better theologians than I will ever be. I wish I could know God like that."
Or, conversely, I have BEEN that wife who posts how my husband just deep cleaned the whole house with a tooth brush. Who knows how many of my peers I made jealous...covetous, irritated with me or their spouse? Even more absurd is that Caleb doesn't even want public praise on Facebook. He would rather me go straight to his face and tell him. How often do we do this with God?
Recently, I kicked Instagram off of my iPhone. It was not edifying. However, the other day I felt the urge to take a picture of Clara's #ootd (outfit of the day), and share it with my IG followers because she just looked SO cute. And, the Holy Spirit stopped me in my iPhone clenching tracks and whispered to me to just thank Jesus for my little girl. For this little doll of a person that I never expected to love and cherish as much as I do. I didn't NEED to post her looking "adorbs" because she is more than that. She is made in His image and likeness, and by His grace she will know Him, and love Him, and walk with Him. Her beauty will derive from him. In that impulse of wanting to 'share' I was actually wanting the positive attention that comes from cute kid pics. I was wanting props for how cute I dress my daughter. I wanted the glory. It wasn't something I even gave much thought to, it was the instantaneous desire of my heart that sin nature creates and then manifests in different ways. For the modern mom, those ways come out through Instagram, Facebook, and the like. Don't get me wrong, gossip and playdate infractions still exist as a normal way to devour our sisters. However, online sharing seems to be taking over. And, whether gossip doesn't ensue (husbands included), we ought to examine whether we are sinning against one another in our hearts.
I want to chose to really buy into my adoption as "sons and daughters" by not contributing to the vanities and lip service seen online. Encouragement has it's time and place, but unless it points us to Jesus and His outstanding love and grace, it is really only hinders maturation. I want to chose to believe that I am His, by not being silly and insecure when someone pays me a compliment about an outfit, or my hair. We can still receive praise but leave it at that and not elaborate or apologize for, or fuss over ourselves so much. The more we fuss over ourselves, the more we are saying that God made a mistake. He doesn't know what we need. He is withholding from us. He can't relate. We are believing lies, and cultivating other people's internal lies by allowing the image and projection of our lives to take first place.
We should image Jesus. We should direct all things, and I mean everything to and about, and from Jesus. He is the good news. He is our beautiful savior. We will never get enough 'likes', or have our spouses dote on us enough, or be the same body shape post babies. We just won't be satisfied apart from Him. Once we learn and accept [daily] that this story; our existence, is meant to bring glory for his name's sake, then we can know true beauty.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Written on December 30th, 2011
It's hailing here in Kirkland. The window is fogged completely and little pebbles
of frozen precipitation dance playfully down my car. My heart is heavy.
I am seeing evidences of God's grace daily. Caleb and I had a tough week over Christmas/weekend. It turns out that starting a business with two small children and minimal start up capital is very challenging. And, before you think in your head- "well, duh," just know that we are doing our very best. We try to be good stewards of our money. Knowing first that the Lord has us in the palm of his hand. Trusting in him 110% to always deliver us- even from ourselves. We are two young adults making our way through the waters of small business and parenting. There is seemingly so much outside criticism. That's okay. A lot of things we do derive from strong convictions from the Holy Spirit. We cannot conform to the pattern of this world.
Marriage is hard. Being a SAHM is insanely hard [sometimes]. I am grateful for the family of friends that we have who uphold the same values and core beliefs that we do. Because, without these peers who have been imparted so much wisdom by the Lord alone, we would feel really alone& lost socially. I love the family who raised me, but traditional roles and even staying home is not exactly hailed as something to be commended for. Choosing to stand by my husband as the head of our household because it just works naturally, or seeing every daily milestone- and they happen, with my children is precious. It is absolutely a calling.
I hope that my heart will continue to be soft enough to follow Jesus. To be like him. To love like he does. To walk with him and know him well. I never want to talk about him as pro athletes or movie stars do pointing to the sky, or never saying his name. He IS God. His name is probably used more in a profane way then by Bible believing Christians.
of frozen precipitation dance playfully down my car. My heart is heavy.
I am seeing evidences of God's grace daily. Caleb and I had a tough week over Christmas/weekend. It turns out that starting a business with two small children and minimal start up capital is very challenging. And, before you think in your head- "well, duh," just know that we are doing our very best. We try to be good stewards of our money. Knowing first that the Lord has us in the palm of his hand. Trusting in him 110% to always deliver us- even from ourselves. We are two young adults making our way through the waters of small business and parenting. There is seemingly so much outside criticism. That's okay. A lot of things we do derive from strong convictions from the Holy Spirit. We cannot conform to the pattern of this world.
Marriage is hard. Being a SAHM is insanely hard [sometimes]. I am grateful for the family of friends that we have who uphold the same values and core beliefs that we do. Because, without these peers who have been imparted so much wisdom by the Lord alone, we would feel really alone& lost socially. I love the family who raised me, but traditional roles and even staying home is not exactly hailed as something to be commended for. Choosing to stand by my husband as the head of our household because it just works naturally, or seeing every daily milestone- and they happen, with my children is precious. It is absolutely a calling.
I hope that my heart will continue to be soft enough to follow Jesus. To be like him. To love like he does. To walk with him and know him well. I never want to talk about him as pro athletes or movie stars do pointing to the sky, or never saying his name. He IS God. His name is probably used more in a profane way then by Bible believing Christians.
our life this spring
baby number three is due in a matter of seven to twelve weeks. i can't believe how much change we've experienced in these four short years of marriage. yesterday, i was remembering myself in high school and thanking the Lord that i am not that person. additionally, my life has not become what i had envisioned it would be like when i was that age looking to the future. it is by His tender grace that gave me a husband who both loves and serves Jesus. he says cynical things like: "i don't care if our kids are just mediocre at a lot of things as long as they know the gospel, and walk with Jesus. i don't want them to ever feel like their identity comes from being super smart or excelling at a sport or instrument." the Asian part of me cringes at his rationale at times because for much of my life education; the honor roll, the Dean's List, etc, was paramount. my dad fostered the desire to be considered bright and "highly intelligent," which became a part of my identity. music was just as important to our family, therefore having a solo, or being a section leader in marching band was praised. i don't fault my parents for that upbringing, it shaped much of who i am today regarding discipline and work ethic. the chief idea here, is that i am slowly adjusting to what feels like a nonchalant ideology on Caleb's part.
the Lord has blessed us beyond our own personal goals or aspirations, and our trust in him makes submitting to his greater plan easy. we will have had three kids (under four years old) within 4.5 years of marriage- while running two small businesses, and maintaining two mortgages. and we rest in the solace of knowing Him and His sovereign hand in every facet of our existence. the fact that we both grew up in church, and attend church regularly does not necessarily equate to the precious daily cry for grace and love required to get through this lifetime. i am so glad that his glory is the end goal. that our jobs, children, homes, cars, worries, petty issues, fears, complaints, and aptitudes are all vanity and fleeting under the sun. oh, to bring glory for His name's sake! the joy of it. the peace in accepting that as first importance. my heart can barely handle the thought of how he loves us. i wish that i could spend more time writing, but small and curious people now require my attention.
i couldn't be more blessed.
Jesus, thank you for your unfailing love. for the desire that the Holy Spirit gives my husband and i to want to know you and serve you. thank you for interceding for our sins; past, present, and future, we know that you died for all of them. you make beauty from ashes. please continue to draw us near to you, and help us to rely on your role as king. direct us as parents, friends, stewards of our time, talent and treasure. we need you. *KBA*
the Lord has blessed us beyond our own personal goals or aspirations, and our trust in him makes submitting to his greater plan easy. we will have had three kids (under four years old) within 4.5 years of marriage- while running two small businesses, and maintaining two mortgages. and we rest in the solace of knowing Him and His sovereign hand in every facet of our existence. the fact that we both grew up in church, and attend church regularly does not necessarily equate to the precious daily cry for grace and love required to get through this lifetime. i am so glad that his glory is the end goal. that our jobs, children, homes, cars, worries, petty issues, fears, complaints, and aptitudes are all vanity and fleeting under the sun. oh, to bring glory for His name's sake! the joy of it. the peace in accepting that as first importance. my heart can barely handle the thought of how he loves us. i wish that i could spend more time writing, but small and curious people now require my attention.
i couldn't be more blessed.
Jesus, thank you for your unfailing love. for the desire that the Holy Spirit gives my husband and i to want to know you and serve you. thank you for interceding for our sins; past, present, and future, we know that you died for all of them. you make beauty from ashes. please continue to draw us near to you, and help us to rely on your role as king. direct us as parents, friends, stewards of our time, talent and treasure. we need you. *KBA*
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Pride. Because, we are smarter, faster, leaner, more beautiful, more competent, with polite children, with five star hotels, and program after program to boast about.
Did you know that I have struggled with boasting my entire life? One of my elementary school teachers actually informed my parents at a conference that I was boastful beyond reproach. I admit it fully now, here to you, as if you hadn't already gathered that this could be an area of weakness in my life. I aim to be transparent which could also be preceived as gloating about what I, by God's grace, have and do not have. Pride disgusts me, and yet I am the chief sinner of this terrible attribute. The fact that it's hailed with such immense respect to be political, go green, love "our Mother Earth", eat organic, be atheletic, have successful children, be educated, look attractive, have a good job, enjoy a specific lifestyle, can all one way or another be traced back to pride. Think about it, the person who is the first person to graduate from college in their family, should get to brag freely about the obstacle that they have both overcome and redeemed for their moniker. Right? They worked hard and plowed through the throws of daunting classes and Starbucks runs to earn that degree.
And yet, King Solomon says that it's all meaningless under the sun.
Or maybe the Beatles ripped off Solomon's Old Testament concepts one better with their recoginizable lyrics: "There's nothing you can do that can't be done"
Is it all meaningless?If it is, then where does pride fit into the equation?
Boasting, bragging, gloating, noting; as I like to say when I'm trying to be sneaky with my tongue to Caleb, where do these actions lead us, but further into ourselves?
Now, those who follow Biblical principals would aspire to wanting to be more like Christ and less like ourselves. Therefore, there is no room for pride which gives birth to much selfishness-some of which we can justify practically, but it is what it is. It is what it is.
No one likes a know-it-all. Knowing it all comes from pride. Humility is attractive, however it is not championed by many because it is not popular. It doesn't win votes, or favor, not like "confidence."
My goal is not to offend my peers, but to share what has been stirred in my heart. I constantly reevaluate this very topic. My husband frequently rolls his eyes in contempt for my obvious concern of what others may think of us, me, Noah, Nicholas.
It's all meaningless.
If you're an atheist- then you can agree, it's all meaningless in the long haul since there is nothing for us after death.
If you're a Christian- then you know that we are to bring glory to God and not ourselves. Bringing glory to His name is the only thing that is not meaningless.
Cynical? Sure. I find great peace in knowing that all toil on earth is just that. We all grow up and get jobs...some people have great jobs that produce a desirable way of living, some people deal with life with money and devotion to hobbies, and some people are broke as a joke with no hope. It's all toil. Toil with some nice dinners and vacations forced in.
Jesus, I pray that Caleb and I can think little of ourselves in light of who you are. Guide us in raise children who ultimately know, fear and seek you. Holy Spirit, enable us to freely sacrifice our time, talent and treasure as it is not ours but yours to give. Humble and teach us according to truths of the Bible. Help us to accept and impart grace daily.
*KBA*
Did you know that I have struggled with boasting my entire life? One of my elementary school teachers actually informed my parents at a conference that I was boastful beyond reproach. I admit it fully now, here to you, as if you hadn't already gathered that this could be an area of weakness in my life. I aim to be transparent which could also be preceived as gloating about what I, by God's grace, have and do not have. Pride disgusts me, and yet I am the chief sinner of this terrible attribute. The fact that it's hailed with such immense respect to be political, go green, love "our Mother Earth", eat organic, be atheletic, have successful children, be educated, look attractive, have a good job, enjoy a specific lifestyle, can all one way or another be traced back to pride. Think about it, the person who is the first person to graduate from college in their family, should get to brag freely about the obstacle that they have both overcome and redeemed for their moniker. Right? They worked hard and plowed through the throws of daunting classes and Starbucks runs to earn that degree.
And yet, King Solomon says that it's all meaningless under the sun.
Or maybe the Beatles ripped off Solomon's Old Testament concepts one better with their recoginizable lyrics: "There's nothing you can do that can't be done"
Is it all meaningless?If it is, then where does pride fit into the equation?
Boasting, bragging, gloating, noting; as I like to say when I'm trying to be sneaky with my tongue to Caleb, where do these actions lead us, but further into ourselves?
Now, those who follow Biblical principals would aspire to wanting to be more like Christ and less like ourselves. Therefore, there is no room for pride which gives birth to much selfishness-some of which we can justify practically, but it is what it is. It is what it is.
No one likes a know-it-all. Knowing it all comes from pride. Humility is attractive, however it is not championed by many because it is not popular. It doesn't win votes, or favor, not like "confidence."
My goal is not to offend my peers, but to share what has been stirred in my heart. I constantly reevaluate this very topic. My husband frequently rolls his eyes in contempt for my obvious concern of what others may think of us, me, Noah, Nicholas.
It's all meaningless.
If you're an atheist- then you can agree, it's all meaningless in the long haul since there is nothing for us after death.
If you're a Christian- then you know that we are to bring glory to God and not ourselves. Bringing glory to His name is the only thing that is not meaningless.
Cynical? Sure. I find great peace in knowing that all toil on earth is just that. We all grow up and get jobs...some people have great jobs that produce a desirable way of living, some people deal with life with money and devotion to hobbies, and some people are broke as a joke with no hope. It's all toil. Toil with some nice dinners and vacations forced in.
Jesus, I pray that Caleb and I can think little of ourselves in light of who you are. Guide us in raise children who ultimately know, fear and seek you. Holy Spirit, enable us to freely sacrifice our time, talent and treasure as it is not ours but yours to give. Humble and teach us according to truths of the Bible. Help us to accept and impart grace daily.
*KBA*
Sunday, November 7, 2010
And so it begins...
There is an innate desire to protect and nurture my child from offenders. Even verbal offenders. I watched as someone spoke to him with such obvious disdain, as if he were an aggravating lap dog. It broke my heart. I wanted to scoop him up and tell him how sweet and bright I find him. That his strong willed nature as some deem him, doesn't bother me, but that I will do my best to foster any trace of tenacity and might in him. I don't want to parent for other people's approval or good graces, but instead because the Lord has entrusted me this young life to shape and guide. I exist to teach Noah how to bring Jesus glory through words, deeds, actions- etc.
My Sister & Brother in law have three stunningly adorable, smart, and what some might call loud little girls. Maybe not loud, but one can definitely tell when they are present or not. Yet, I have not really seen either parent discourage their offspring from what is natural, age appropriate play and behavior. They are confident in their parenting; their discipline and their overwhelming love. I want to parent like that. So what if someone gives me the stink eye?! No apologies or excuses unless my child is outwardly sinning against another person, or is endangering himself. Close examination of the heart may reveal that parents often labor under their personal pride thus changing how they chose to approach parenting and it's many facets.
Most frustrating, are those who don't believe in the term 'Age Appropriate.' They balk in their brain thinking it is an excuse for lazy parents who don't discipline their children. I must confess, I've shared that approach that the child is solely the product of poor parenting. However, the Lord wants me to know humility and so I do as I learn first hand what it's like to raise a toddler.
Lord, I pray fervently, that I can have grace, patience and joy in being a mommy. Let my motivations and directives derive from Biblical wisdom and principals. Give Caleb and I the tools and aptitude to cultivate in our children characteristics that above all, honor you.
*KBA*
My Sister & Brother in law have three stunningly adorable, smart, and what some might call loud little girls. Maybe not loud, but one can definitely tell when they are present or not. Yet, I have not really seen either parent discourage their offspring from what is natural, age appropriate play and behavior. They are confident in their parenting; their discipline and their overwhelming love. I want to parent like that. So what if someone gives me the stink eye?! No apologies or excuses unless my child is outwardly sinning against another person, or is endangering himself. Close examination of the heart may reveal that parents often labor under their personal pride thus changing how they chose to approach parenting and it's many facets.
Most frustrating, are those who don't believe in the term 'Age Appropriate.' They balk in their brain thinking it is an excuse for lazy parents who don't discipline their children. I must confess, I've shared that approach that the child is solely the product of poor parenting. However, the Lord wants me to know humility and so I do as I learn first hand what it's like to raise a toddler.
Lord, I pray fervently, that I can have grace, patience and joy in being a mommy. Let my motivations and directives derive from Biblical wisdom and principals. Give Caleb and I the tools and aptitude to cultivate in our children characteristics that above all, honor you.
*KBA*
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Life as we know it...
well, here i am in the third trimester with our second child. i feel strong and healthy, even though i have points in the day and night of discomfort. i always wanted to name one of my children after a character from The Great Gatsby, so Nick, or Nicholas, is fitting. what's more so is that Noah & Nicholas paired together is satisfactory to me. after all, Caleb wouldn't have anything to do with Andrew, Samuel or Carter. my little Nick (Carraway) will be here within no time and surely we will delight in him as we have Noah.
it's difficult to grasp that we have been in Eastern Washington for coming on three years this May. constantly reevaluating whether we belong in Seattle or not. truly, it is nice to play house in all it's front yard, back yard, upstairs-downstairs glory. yet, there are still things that are amiss for us as a family. unfortunately, not having Mars Hill as a fellowship greatly weighs upon us. however, technology lends much to our aid and there is little excuse for not tuning in to podCasts and whatnot. it comes down to seeking the Lord as to whether we are "called" (although, I hate that term) to live here.
pros and cons stream through my brain daily making truth challenging to cling to. no matter what transpires regarding our home address, we will soon be a family of four. con: i can't imagine Noah not living near his favorite person-"Amp-AH." pro: better work for Caleb on the west side, hands down.
i want to put to rest any anxiety around life as we know it, because for one, it isn't Biblical (Philippians 4:6). secondly, it isn't healthy for little Nicholas brewing away in there. lastly, i trust the Lord to use Caleb as the spiritual leader of our home to guide and intercede for our family in all things. i yield a sufficient amount of my type A personality to the joy of Biblical headship within our home. not to say that i am feeble and mute within our happenings.
so here we are, three years of contractual marriage in, nearly two children in our midst, and a constant need for Jesus. at the end of the day we are always on the same page. congruent in the big details of raising babies, saving money, striving for spiritual maturity. it is note worthy that we have made fantastic friendships in both Seattle and the Tri-Cities.
well, for now, this is where we are. profoundly blessed, and possibly unable to see how the Lord is growing us.
that is all...
KBA
it's difficult to grasp that we have been in Eastern Washington for coming on three years this May. constantly reevaluating whether we belong in Seattle or not. truly, it is nice to play house in all it's front yard, back yard, upstairs-downstairs glory. yet, there are still things that are amiss for us as a family. unfortunately, not having Mars Hill as a fellowship greatly weighs upon us. however, technology lends much to our aid and there is little excuse for not tuning in to podCasts and whatnot. it comes down to seeking the Lord as to whether we are "called" (although, I hate that term) to live here.
pros and cons stream through my brain daily making truth challenging to cling to. no matter what transpires regarding our home address, we will soon be a family of four. con: i can't imagine Noah not living near his favorite person-"Amp-AH." pro: better work for Caleb on the west side, hands down.
i want to put to rest any anxiety around life as we know it, because for one, it isn't Biblical (Philippians 4:6). secondly, it isn't healthy for little Nicholas brewing away in there. lastly, i trust the Lord to use Caleb as the spiritual leader of our home to guide and intercede for our family in all things. i yield a sufficient amount of my type A personality to the joy of Biblical headship within our home. not to say that i am feeble and mute within our happenings.
so here we are, three years of contractual marriage in, nearly two children in our midst, and a constant need for Jesus. at the end of the day we are always on the same page. congruent in the big details of raising babies, saving money, striving for spiritual maturity. it is note worthy that we have made fantastic friendships in both Seattle and the Tri-Cities.
well, for now, this is where we are. profoundly blessed, and possibly unable to see how the Lord is growing us.
that is all...
KBA
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Jesus.
It is often controversial to claim to follow Christianity. To be a "little Christ."
However, much of the controversy does not derive from people talking about the person and work of Jesus, but from their hypocrisy and judgmental demeanor.
A heart that wants to serve and love others is granted by the Holy Spirit, and greatly counters the religious rituals and vernacular that so frequently offends.
Sadly, the role of the church hasn't always met the needs of widows, orphans and the desperate. The programs, multiple 'love' offerings, and all together phony facade that many churches embody are a disgusting display of the gross miss communication of what grace, humility and truth actually are.
Jesus. The way, the truth and the life. The Bible is an account of his life; with the Old Testament lending a prophetic word, and the New Testament is the collection of stories telling how those prophesies were fulfilled. A Bible believing Christian seeks to learn about Jesus and his tremendous love, not necessarily to follow "the road map to life." The aim for the Christian is to want to know and possess affection for Jesus, who was fully God, and fully man. Too many Christians have done the faith filled random pull of sentences from the Bible that "perfectly fit the situation they were in!" Which, cynical as this sounds, misses the point that the Bible is not about us. It's not about us. Recognition that the Bible is an testimony of who Jesus was, and that it shares the loving truth about him is crucial to the continual need to humility. We cannot die to ourselves if we make every thing about ourselves. That includes, so conversely to what modern evangelists may infer, referring to scripture (Jeremiah 29:11) out of context to make us feel better. We are inherently sinful. We are a broken, selfish, prideful mass since the beginning of time, who Jesus said out of our heart flows the most deceitful and unpleasant things (paraphrase), therefore no one is a "good person." Everyone to their core is wicked and sinful and needing only one thing, and that is to be lead by the conviction of the Holy Spirit to become more like the person of Jesus Christ.
Christians have it wrong too often, a program, or routine won't solve the issues of the heart. Other religions survive by preaching works and legalism, or searching within oneself.
The sole answer is: JESUS.
I've been struggling lately with our place as a family coming from a thriving community and church in Seattle, even though we moved away two years ago. It seems pointless to desire the previous arrangement while struggling to redeem the present. And, the consensus that I have is that I love Jesus, more than any church, group of people, or city, and that is enough. I want to know him deeply. Walk with him daily. Dwell where he is. And, by God's grace I will live in a way that reflects his image.
I heard Pastor Bill Clem describe us this way, " We are like a mirror, shattered and broken, and God has to take all the pieces and put them back together so that they reflect him." I liked this analogy because it relies solely on God (Jesus), and does not put the ball in our court as individuals. We must respond in obedience to the conviction of the Holy Spirit if we know Christ, and love others well.
Jesus, I pray for your continual guidance and grace. Your love is undeniable to me.
KBA
However, much of the controversy does not derive from people talking about the person and work of Jesus, but from their hypocrisy and judgmental demeanor.
A heart that wants to serve and love others is granted by the Holy Spirit, and greatly counters the religious rituals and vernacular that so frequently offends.
Sadly, the role of the church hasn't always met the needs of widows, orphans and the desperate. The programs, multiple 'love' offerings, and all together phony facade that many churches embody are a disgusting display of the gross miss communication of what grace, humility and truth actually are.
Jesus. The way, the truth and the life. The Bible is an account of his life; with the Old Testament lending a prophetic word, and the New Testament is the collection of stories telling how those prophesies were fulfilled. A Bible believing Christian seeks to learn about Jesus and his tremendous love, not necessarily to follow "the road map to life." The aim for the Christian is to want to know and possess affection for Jesus, who was fully God, and fully man. Too many Christians have done the faith filled random pull of sentences from the Bible that "perfectly fit the situation they were in!" Which, cynical as this sounds, misses the point that the Bible is not about us. It's not about us. Recognition that the Bible is an testimony of who Jesus was, and that it shares the loving truth about him is crucial to the continual need to humility. We cannot die to ourselves if we make every thing about ourselves. That includes, so conversely to what modern evangelists may infer, referring to scripture (Jeremiah 29:11) out of context to make us feel better. We are inherently sinful. We are a broken, selfish, prideful mass since the beginning of time, who Jesus said out of our heart flows the most deceitful and unpleasant things (paraphrase), therefore no one is a "good person." Everyone to their core is wicked and sinful and needing only one thing, and that is to be lead by the conviction of the Holy Spirit to become more like the person of Jesus Christ.
Christians have it wrong too often, a program, or routine won't solve the issues of the heart. Other religions survive by preaching works and legalism, or searching within oneself.
The sole answer is: JESUS.
I've been struggling lately with our place as a family coming from a thriving community and church in Seattle, even though we moved away two years ago. It seems pointless to desire the previous arrangement while struggling to redeem the present. And, the consensus that I have is that I love Jesus, more than any church, group of people, or city, and that is enough. I want to know him deeply. Walk with him daily. Dwell where he is. And, by God's grace I will live in a way that reflects his image.
I heard Pastor Bill Clem describe us this way, " We are like a mirror, shattered and broken, and God has to take all the pieces and put them back together so that they reflect him." I liked this analogy because it relies solely on God (Jesus), and does not put the ball in our court as individuals. We must respond in obedience to the conviction of the Holy Spirit if we know Christ, and love others well.
Jesus, I pray for your continual guidance and grace. Your love is undeniable to me.
KBA
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