My hard heart regarding adoption.

      The handful of you who will read this post know that my husband and I are becoming licensed foster parents through our state. When we were engaged we talked about adoption a lot, and though our initial picture of what that may look like has certainly changed, by grace the intention of doing so has not. Through books, social media, conferences, and the positive model of peers who foster and have adopted, we are mentally equipped. For our emotions, safety, and all other tangible provisions we lean heavily on the Lord. We know that we want to be obedient in taking part [in some way] in orphan care. However, I would be remiss, and robbing God of his glory if I didn't share how He had changed my heart over the last three years.

My hard heart had some objections and sinful concepts that I wrestled with, and likely because of personal pride. Here are two of them:

*The mom at church who already has a gob of kids, yet is fundraising for international adoption, AND/or domestic adoption via foster care. To the believer with God's mission and glory in mind, this family sounds like they're on track. To the rest of the world; believers and non-believers, they seem crazy. How will they care for, clothe, and educate that many children? But those weren't even my sinful primary objections.
It was the thinking that she must be quiver-full. She has no identity apart from mothering. She must have no other gifts or talents to contribute other than being a homemaker. She just wants the attention.

I could say that I am embarrassed for sharing this covetous, arrogant, and unloving demeanor I had toward a fellow sister, and her family, but I want to make sure we all get what God can do. He can take my wretched heart and transform it so judgment and eye rolling are no longer the response.

*There are plenty of children in America that need a loving, safe home, I am not called to international adoption. While both points may be somewhat true, I can still come alongside a family who is called to redeem the life of a 12 year old girl in China, who would have otherwise "aged out" at 14 and been shoved into slave labor, sex trafficking, or worse. A woman in a class of mine this year actually adopted an older child, NOT a baby, and her life, their lives will never be the same-for the better. Who am I to think that God wouldn't take care of my family if we gave generously to an overseas adoption? Does he not clothe the lilies and feed the sparrows? And, while my heart wasn't anti-international adoption, I wasn't on the front lines promoting or supporting it as much as I could or should have been.

The heart of the world has objections too. What if one of my children is harmed? What if I get attached? We just aren't called to that. Only certain people can handle such an endeavor. To some extent this may be true. The keynote speaker from the One Conference this last weekend made the point that not everyone can, or should bring kids into their home. But, in light of the gospel, we can all joyfully participate in some way.

My great hope and prayer is that Jesus will continue to soften and transform the heart of those who call him Lord, and awaken to find a role and conduit to aid in orphan care. May unbelief and selfish ambition, or the pride of life all be far from those who God has called and adopted to Himself. Mostly, I offer thanks and praise to my Father in Heaven for sanctification, and his active work in my heart.