Spiritual Gifts

My women's group has been going through 1 Corinthians, while simultaneously listening to a podCast from Mars Hill. I am enjoying it very much, as I think it is a highly sought after book in the Bible, and of course, I couldn't ask for a better podCast series.
We have arrived at chapter 12...and it I am beginning to see where my opinion not only varies, but could almost be taken as alarming apathy toward Spiritual Gifts. I would suggest that my demeanor derives from many years at a church that doesn't place tremendous emphasis on Spiritual Gifts-yet doesn't negate that they exist. For me, I've really been conditioned to think-it's all about Jesus...it's only about Jesus...it's always about Jesus.
I haven't really given the other facets that accompany "Christianity" a second thought. I don't care what man can do. Even if the Lord gives another person a gift, I am not taken aback by it, because I am a little more skeptical...cynical...and don't focus too much on what people do.
I want to know the heart of Christ. Yes, at the end of Chapter 12, Paul (not Jesus), directs us to desire the gifts, however I feel the gifts themselves take on more controversy, and a deep yearning by cessationists than the longing that should ONLY be for Christ himself.
I DO believe that Spiritual Gifts are important to living out the Gospel in a humble, as my friend Angie would say: "non-flashy" way. When Driscoll preached on this subject, he inferred that we can look at our lives, see our aptitudes, and probably discern our personal gifting.
We should strive to operate under the power of the Holy Spirit so much, that we allow him to convict us of how to use our gifts in certain capacities. Gifts will be different during different seasons. I grew up singing in church from age 5 until 21...and then I felt at peace about now being in music ministry and taking up a toilet scrubber at Mars Hill, and coordinating my Community Group. I have tremendous peace about where God chooses to use me in different seasons. I am (hopefully not offensively) against Spiritual Gifts Tests for a host of reasons; they could be inaccurate, people take them for gold, they focus on the individual. The Bible doesn't tell us to figure out what our Spiritual Gifts are so that we can solely rely on them to witness or live a godly life. Knowing God...deeply longing for his heart, and extending grace is the best witness of all, and the most difficult thing to do. Sure, having a the gift of discernment will allow one to choose their company wisely, or flee from evil, but it is only part of what we are called to do.
"The greater way," as Paul describes it segueing into chapter 13, is to LOVE. Because God is love. Instead of really living out chapter 13, which tells us how to love, and that we will only have knowledge "in part," Christians are often still hung up on chapter 12 and the understanding of Spiritual Gifts.
Am I wrong for being seemingly irritated by this issue? I do think there is importance around the subject, but it is not the end goal as so many churches teach. Yes, I feel it should be taught, but always as a means to point to Christ, and him crucified.

Thoughts on home birth

it's time to blog as if people really read/care about what i'm writing anyway...i feel it might be therapeutic to just type randomness as it pops up. after all, both noah, and the little guy i nanny are sleeping.

i am currently addicted to co-sleeping and nursing my little guy as i see how happy it makes him. i think my husband loves co-sleeping too, because even though our feet are the only parts that get to "cuddle," he seems okay with it. Just the other night i went to lay sleeping noah in his arms reach co-sleeper next to our bed, and caleb said, "aw, you're gonna lay him in there?" in kind of a sad, dejected sort of way. it was cute. we love having our little guy in bed with us. what can i say, as caleb put it, "you're a modern hippy, kymm."

having noah in a tub, at home was one of the coolest experiences i've ever had. caleb and i were able to play guitar hero and eat cereal (my fave) during my labor. we practiced all the things we learned in hypno-birthing classes, which helped me through transition-since i didn't even know i was in transition! who needs an epi? honestly, i still give the glory and praise to God for allowing us to have the unmedicated, safe home birth that we did. i prayed and prayed for it to turn out exactly how it did, and he honored that-what a treat.
from about 14wks until noah arrived i enjoyed being pregnant and learning as much as possible via books and research about pregnancy, postpartum and breastfeeding. i think it helped me to read up and really do my homework because all too often women are lambasted with advice and [horror] stories about what pregnancy & birth supposedly are.
i shutter to think about where american obstetrics and gynocology are going. there is a complete lack of trust in the human body, and perhaps, had i not had enough faith that the Lord designed my body to give birth to a baby [naturally] than i too would be strapped to a bed enduring all that the AMA (& ACOG) perfers to practice.
the truth of the matter is, 90% of women who GO to the hospital WILL have an epidural and a possibly/probably a series of other interventions. and the real truth of the matter is, in the back of every woman's mind-that's okay. i knew that if i went to a hospital that i would for sure give in, and need an epidural. a home birth, or birth center was simply the only way FOR me. what i think is abundantly clear, is that women are made to feel that their bodies are inadequate, and will not be able to carry out the great task of birth on their own. it's simply not true, not for the 95% of all women who have healthy pregnancies.
i know that the fear factor kicks in. as soon as i knew i was in labor the pain did something to my mind that made me scared. what if i did need to go to the hospital to manage the pain? luckily, i stuck it out. the fear was real though...maybe it was the oxytocin kicking in, and rather than fear it was the protective motherly vibe? who knows. what i am saying, is that i understand why women feel they need to have babies in the hospital...i just wish the "old way" of doing things weren't frowned upon so blatantly so that women were able to really choose.

i guess that's all for now...i better go check on noah-i traded our baby monitors in for an electric pump so now i get to burn calories by running up and down the stairs to check on him every 10-15min LOL