Written on December 30th, 2011

It's hailing here in Kirkland. The window is fogged completely and little pebbles
of frozen precipitation dance playfully down my car. My heart is heavy.

I am seeing evidences of God's grace daily. Caleb and I had a tough week over Christmas/weekend. It turns out that starting a business with two small children and minimal start up capital is very challenging. And, before you think in your head- "well, duh," just know that we are doing our very best. We try to be good stewards of our money. Knowing first that the Lord has us in the palm of his hand. Trusting in him 110% to always deliver us- even from ourselves. We are two young adults making our way through the waters of small business and parenting. There is seemingly so much outside criticism. That's okay. A lot of things we do derive from strong convictions from the Holy Spirit. We cannot conform to the pattern of this world.

Marriage is hard. Being a SAHM is insanely hard [sometimes]. I am grateful for the family of friends that we have who uphold the same values and core beliefs that we do. Because, without these peers who have been imparted so much wisdom by the Lord alone, we would feel really alone& lost socially. I love the family who raised me, but traditional roles and even staying home is not exactly hailed as something to be commended for. Choosing to stand by my husband as the head of our household because it just works naturally, or seeing every daily milestone- and they happen, with my children is precious. It is absolutely a calling.

I hope that my heart will continue to be soft enough to follow Jesus. To be like him. To love like he does. To walk with him and know him well. I never want to talk about him as pro athletes or movie stars do pointing to the sky, or never saying his name. He IS God. His name is probably used more in a profane way then by Bible believing Christians.