Exchanging the truth for a lie....

25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen. -Romans 1:25

I've just returned from the Mars Hill Women's Training Day held at the Bellevue campus. Similar to the training day that I attended two years ago, I have a lot to process and chip away at. 
Both training day experiences have left me with the exact same question: do I want to be known? 

Do I want to attempt to allow other women to speak into my life, witness my ugly moments, walk with me through the muddy waters of living this side of Heaven? Because, honestly, Americans all seem a bit phony. The facade of the Pinterest Mom and her household, the Sunday Christians (more of us than we want to admit), the humble brags on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, all make me cringe a little bit inside, or roll my eyes, or worse, inspire comparison then competition. 

We have exchanged the truth for a lie. We have believed things that are purely from Satan, or if we can be really honest, from our own wicked and deceitful heart. When the Bible talks about how rotten our hearts are, it isn't describing just those unsaved. The seasoned Christian isn't exempt here. Our hearts are sinful, completely filled with unrighteousness and manipulative motivation. An easy example that I can think of is when I have casually posted a "Takethemameal" photo and hashtag on Instagram to show the beautiful spread that I created to "serve" others. But, who gets the proverbial pat on the back with 15 'likes'? Who gets the glory via kind comments? Me. I do. I get the glory and rob Jesus of the credit he so rightly deserves. I have done this. It was coy. It wasn't showy. That's an example of how manipulative and wicked the heart can be. 

At the Training Day we talked about beauty. That was the only topic  dissected and disassembled into many different takeaways. At the very end of the 9am-4pm day we wrote down some lies on a piece of paper; probably like 500 of us, and dropped them into a basket at the foot of the cross, then we walked past another basket full of pieces of paper with scripture on it. A truth. We gave up some of our lies and took up God's word. Here is what my piece of paper read: 
  
John 1:12-13 But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.

If I chose to believe that I have become a child of God, I would submit to you that accepting truth over lies is going to heavily rely on grace and the conviction of the Holy Spirit daily. Hourly. Because, the lies pop up, the judgment pops up, the cutting down and tearing apart of my fellow sisters pops up, and it's ugly. And, I want to apologize. Apologize to all of my sisters whom I have offered a false encouragement to regarding their selfies, and kid brags, and every other way that we sin online specifically. I have done a disservice by perpetuating what has just become the norm for society.

I have done a disservice by saying things like this: 
"She lost the baby weight so fast, and only eats organic, and her kids love kale. She is so exceptional. Ugh, I have a lot to fix. Man, tomorrow I am going to start doing..."

"She knows SO much of the Bible. I bet her kids are better theologians than I will ever be. I wish I could know God like that." 

Or, conversely, I have BEEN that wife who posts how my husband just deep cleaned the whole house with a tooth brush. Who knows how many of my peers I made jealous...covetous, irritated with me or their spouse? Even more absurd is that Caleb doesn't even want public praise on Facebook. He would rather me go straight to his face and tell him. How often do we do this with God? 

Recently, I kicked Instagram off of my iPhone. It was not edifying. However, the other day I felt the urge to take a picture of Clara's #ootd (outfit of the day), and share it with my IG followers because she just looked SO cute. And, the Holy Spirit stopped me in my iPhone clenching tracks and whispered to me to just thank Jesus for my little girl. For this little doll of a person that I never expected to love and cherish as much as I do. I didn't NEED to post her looking "adorbs" because she is more than that. She is made in His image and likeness, and by His grace she will know Him, and love Him, and walk with Him. Her beauty will derive from him. In that impulse of wanting to 'share' I was actually wanting the positive attention that comes from cute kid pics. I was wanting props for how cute I dress my daughter. I wanted the glory. It wasn't something I even gave much thought to, it was the instantaneous desire of my heart that sin nature creates and then manifests in different ways. For the modern mom, those ways come out through Instagram, Facebook, and the like. Don't get me wrong, gossip and playdate infractions still exist as a normal way to devour our sisters. However, online sharing seems to be taking over. And, whether gossip doesn't ensue (husbands included), we ought to examine whether we are sinning against one another in our hearts.

I want to chose to really buy into my adoption as "sons and daughters" by not contributing to the vanities and lip service seen online. Encouragement has it's time and place, but unless it points us to Jesus and His outstanding love and grace, it is really only hinders maturation. I want to chose to believe that I am His, by not being silly and insecure when someone pays me a compliment about an outfit, or my hair. We can still receive praise but leave it at that and not elaborate or apologize for, or fuss over ourselves so much. The more we fuss over ourselves, the more we are saying that God made a mistake. He doesn't know what we need. He is withholding from us. He can't relate. We are believing lies, and cultivating other people's internal lies by allowing the image and projection of our lives to take first place. 

We should image Jesus. We should direct all things, and I mean everything to and about, and from Jesus. He is the good news. He is our beautiful savior. We will never get enough 'likes', or have our spouses dote on us enough, or be the same body shape post babies. We just won't be satisfied apart from Him. Once we learn and accept [daily] that this story; our existence, is meant to bring glory for his name's sake, then we can know true beauty. 

Jesus.

It is often controversial to claim to follow Christianity. To be a "little Christ."
However, much of the controversy does not derive from people talking about the person and work of Jesus, but from their hypocrisy and judgmental demeanor.
A heart that wants to serve and love others is granted by the Holy Spirit, and greatly counters the religious rituals and vernacular that so frequently offends.
Sadly, the role of the church hasn't always met the needs of widows, orphans and the desperate. The programs, multiple 'love' offerings, and all together phony facade that many churches embody are a disgusting display of the gross miss communication of what grace, humility and truth actually are.

Jesus. The way, the truth and the life. The Bible is an account of his life; with the Old Testament lending a prophetic word, and the New Testament is the collection of stories telling how those prophesies were fulfilled. A Bible believing Christian seeks to learn about Jesus and his tremendous love, not necessarily to follow "the road map to life." The aim for the Christian is to want to know and possess affection for Jesus, who was fully God, and fully man. Too many Christians have done the faith filled random pull of sentences from the Bible that "perfectly fit the situation they were in!" Which, cynical as this sounds, misses the point that the Bible is not about us. It's not about us. Recognition that the Bible is an testimony of who Jesus was, and that it shares the loving truth about him is crucial to the continual need to humility. We cannot die to ourselves if we make every thing about ourselves. That includes, so conversely to what modern evangelists may infer, referring to scripture (Jeremiah 29:11) out of context to make us feel better. We are inherently sinful. We are a broken, selfish, prideful mass since the beginning of time, who Jesus said out of our heart flows the most deceitful and unpleasant things (paraphrase), therefore no one is a "good person." Everyone to their core is wicked and sinful and needing only one thing, and that is to be lead by the conviction of the Holy Spirit to become more like the person of Jesus Christ.

Christians have it wrong too often, a program, or routine won't solve the issues of the heart. Other religions survive by preaching works and legalism, or searching within oneself.

The sole answer is: JESUS.

I've been struggling lately with our place as a family coming from a thriving community and church in Seattle, even though we moved away two years ago. It seems pointless to desire the previous arrangement while struggling to redeem the present. And, the consensus that I have is that I love Jesus, more than any church, group of people, or city, and that is enough. I want to know him deeply. Walk with him daily. Dwell where he is. And, by God's grace I will live in a way that reflects his image.
I heard Pastor Bill Clem describe us this way, " We are like a mirror, shattered and broken, and God has to take all the pieces and put them back together so that they reflect him." I liked this analogy because it relies solely on God (Jesus), and does not put the ball in our court as individuals. We must respond in obedience to the conviction of the Holy Spirit if we know Christ, and love others well.

Jesus, I pray for your continual guidance and grace. Your love is undeniable to me.

KBA

Spiritual Gifts

My women's group has been going through 1 Corinthians, while simultaneously listening to a podCast from Mars Hill. I am enjoying it very much, as I think it is a highly sought after book in the Bible, and of course, I couldn't ask for a better podCast series.
We have arrived at chapter 12...and it I am beginning to see where my opinion not only varies, but could almost be taken as alarming apathy toward Spiritual Gifts. I would suggest that my demeanor derives from many years at a church that doesn't place tremendous emphasis on Spiritual Gifts-yet doesn't negate that they exist. For me, I've really been conditioned to think-it's all about Jesus...it's only about Jesus...it's always about Jesus.
I haven't really given the other facets that accompany "Christianity" a second thought. I don't care what man can do. Even if the Lord gives another person a gift, I am not taken aback by it, because I am a little more skeptical...cynical...and don't focus too much on what people do.
I want to know the heart of Christ. Yes, at the end of Chapter 12, Paul (not Jesus), directs us to desire the gifts, however I feel the gifts themselves take on more controversy, and a deep yearning by cessationists than the longing that should ONLY be for Christ himself.
I DO believe that Spiritual Gifts are important to living out the Gospel in a humble, as my friend Angie would say: "non-flashy" way. When Driscoll preached on this subject, he inferred that we can look at our lives, see our aptitudes, and probably discern our personal gifting.
We should strive to operate under the power of the Holy Spirit so much, that we allow him to convict us of how to use our gifts in certain capacities. Gifts will be different during different seasons. I grew up singing in church from age 5 until 21...and then I felt at peace about now being in music ministry and taking up a toilet scrubber at Mars Hill, and coordinating my Community Group. I have tremendous peace about where God chooses to use me in different seasons. I am (hopefully not offensively) against Spiritual Gifts Tests for a host of reasons; they could be inaccurate, people take them for gold, they focus on the individual. The Bible doesn't tell us to figure out what our Spiritual Gifts are so that we can solely rely on them to witness or live a godly life. Knowing God...deeply longing for his heart, and extending grace is the best witness of all, and the most difficult thing to do. Sure, having a the gift of discernment will allow one to choose their company wisely, or flee from evil, but it is only part of what we are called to do.
"The greater way," as Paul describes it segueing into chapter 13, is to LOVE. Because God is love. Instead of really living out chapter 13, which tells us how to love, and that we will only have knowledge "in part," Christians are often still hung up on chapter 12 and the understanding of Spiritual Gifts.
Am I wrong for being seemingly irritated by this issue? I do think there is importance around the subject, but it is not the end goal as so many churches teach. Yes, I feel it should be taught, but always as a means to point to Christ, and him crucified.